Do Read This__An Honest Poem By Mandisa Dlamini

I honestly don't know if this is an open letter to the lady's ex or its her way of finding some closure but trust me, when I read it I felt my heart pulse faster than usual..I'm not sharing it for the sake of her exposure but for you guys to see that poetry isn't about metaphors and similes but its about pouring your heart out,crying on the page.

PLEASE READ IT AND DO SHARE!!

I haven't had the chance...
To sit down...
And write it all out....
To write every piece and bit of your memory
Out of my life...
Out of my head...
No! Out of my system....

All the anguish,
The pain,
The hurt you had me going through...
I have had it bottled up inside me for far too long...
Well...Today I give myself a chance
to pour it out in words down on this paper...
Sadly... I never got the chance to say it all on your face....
Today!
I'm letting it all out....

You wanna know about pain? Pain was when you sliced my loving heart into a million pieces
With something as meaningless as Actions... later you ruthlessly trampled on the pieces....

I still ask myself everyday at 2AM...
Yes 2AM! The same time you used to wake me up with calls, just to tell me that I'm always on your mind...
Its funny how...
Now...at 2AM, I'm the one wakes
and picture you laying next to another woman...
I hope you tell her that 2 AM, was once specially reserved to call some girl...that you rather forgot too soon....

How do you lay peacefully at night?
With your heart at peace?
With your sanity still as stable?
When... Of fact you,you! You complicated my entire life...
When you left, you left with my all....
I gave you everything....
My life....
With my life, I mean...
The beat of my heart...
The sparkles in my beautiful eyes...
The smile on my face....
Most of all...
My Joy....

I cursed you!
With every chance I got...
I spoke badly of your name,
I wished you all the bad life could offer one...
You deserved it...

I saw you the other day...
With your new girl...
She was walking on your left hand side...
It popped up in my head...
You once said " if you ever see me roaming around the streets, with a girl walking on my left hand side...get angry! Only a special woman in my life, is entitled to walk on my left"

Tears filled up my eyes....
She was pacing on your left...
I always thought I'd be the only girl who would stick by your left, for a long time...
It had me breathing twice in a second to see you and her....

Holding hands!?
I thought...
I used to hold the same hands...
I wanted to run straight at you...
And remind you how special I was to you...
Who I was to you...
How you adorned my life once,
With your rare presence in my life....
Why? Is everything this way?
How? Did everything turn out this way?
When? Did all this begin?
I wanted to  remove her hands off yours, which looked tightly latched onto yours from a distance!
It disgusted the inner depths of my soul to see her holding you!

We swore... We vowed...
That till forever, we would always belong to each other...

Does she dance for you like I used to?
Do you have music on max and compete together for best singer?
Do you play truth or dare with her like we used to?
Does she spend some days just laying on chest, jamming on chilled Jhene Aiko songs?
I remember you said that, laying on your chest made you feel manly!
Do you have all that?
Wait...
Who tucks you into bed on weekends,
when you are too drunk to do that yourself?
Tell me stupid! How do you throw all that away?

Is it because that,
She fucks you better?
She is more of a woman than I ever was?
No! Tell me ...where did we go wrong?

Why do i still shiver every time I see you?
Why do I still think of you and cry?
Why does a silly mentioning of your name tickle my heart?
Who are u?
Who have you been in my life?
Why do I still think of you after so long?
What is it that you gave me?
Is it one of those Egyptian spells that you cast on me?
Answer me damn it!

Why did you make me fall so hard in love with you?
Am I ever gonna rise?
I mean from the falling ground of love?

How could you be so heartless...
Don't tell me you don't ever think of me...
After all that we have been through...
Man! I gave up a lot for you...

Maybe I'm just young...
This shall pass...
But I'm very much content that my love for you is something that will not fade...
I have loved you...
And I meant it when I said you are my forever. .
I swear I will tell my kids about you one day, even if fate separates us...
I'll ever treasure the chance it has given me...
To live and tell a love story as beautiful as ours...
I have lived a fairytale in real life...
Life gave me a prince  charming at some point...
Fuck you for taking him back!

By Mandisa Eversmiling Dlamini

Attention: No editions or additions were made here,its just something raw and uncut

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