Bandile Matsenjwa

Everyone tries to tell me all about how great the hookup life is. They tell me about how awesome it is to just visit someone’s bed, have sex, and leave before you have to remember their name or the sound of their voice. They tell me it is all the rage, and that everyone is doing it. But I dunno, I don’t quite buy it. That’s not to say that I judge other people for their choices, or what makes them happy. But I just don’t think hookups are my cup of tea anymore — if they ever were. I want someone to not just sleep with, but to spend the night with, and wake up with. I want someone who will eat breakfast with me, before rushing off to school or work. I want someone who will be waiting at home for me, or waiting for my text, to talk about our day. Am I the only guy who is looking for this? I don’t think there is anything specifically “masculine” or “manly” about wanting to attract the maximum amount of sex for...

If I die tonight,consider these my last words There will be days when you'll feel like a spoon of sugar inside an ocean That day, You'll try to pour yourself but nobody will let you dissolve your sorrow on them I tell you, That day you will call on God but he'll be banging the sound of your joy that's yet to come on headsets Because He is tomorrow Never treat people like they're 10% human Like they've been restored from the recycle bin Never let pride burn words like 'I know me' or 'whatever' on your backbone Because your life wasn't written by you You're just the main character in this book that you don't even know how many pages it contains For God's sake, a lot of books in the heaven library weren't finished because most let 'attitude' move into their personality room Brother, don't forget where you come from Stop treating woman like the songs on your playlist They're not music.... Sister I...

In a way the small disappointments and letdowns are worse than real breakups. At first you are good at containing the hope. You meet him, maybe hook up once or twice and it is still possible to view it as a one-time thing. Then he keeps contacting you and you let the smallest idea plant in your head, that maybe this guy actually does like you. You try to squash it, to tell yourself to stop, but it’s impossible at this point. It grows and expands until it occupies every corner of your mind. Every thing he says, every invitation over is a declaration of their desire for you. Then, without warning and usually when things were getting good, he slows down. You can feel it happening but you make excuses for him like a stupid girl. “He’s busy.” “He’s stressed about exams.” He acts dismissive when he sees you out downtown. “He was tired.” You now have to be the one to text first. You know you should just stop but the hop...